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Proud of your Sporran? And why not?
Everyone may not be as tasteful as yourself. Perhaps you spent some time choosing just the right sporran that satisfied your own ideas of
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manliness
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historicity
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overall complementary and pleasing harmony with the rest of your gear
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appropriate cultural or subliminal social messaging
Perhaps not ...
At any rate ... we do know there is an art to choosing one's accessories, especially one so specifically and centrally positioned.
Following is a gallery of sporrans that range from "eclectic" to "why?" and go beyond mere matters of taste and tassels.
Trigger Warning: The collection shown below is not for ...
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the faint of heart
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the weak of stomach
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those with no appreciation for the upcyling of roadkill
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those who are already offended by the idea of white kilt hose for formal occasions
Editor's note: Trust me ... with sporrans like these, no one is wondering what is worn "under" the kilt.
And now, just to prove that talented taxidermy is no substitute for good taste ...
The Gallery of Cruel&
Unusual SporrANS
 Ugly Christmas SporranGoes with the sweater |  WerewolfSilver bullet, anyone? Not exactly channeling the romantic vampires and werewolves of the Twilight franchise |  For the Cyclops in your LifeFor giving people the glad eye |
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 Punk in PastelLavender blue dilly dilly! For your next Spring Fling ... |  Christmas is coming!Please don't wear this until after Hallowe'en |  Something Fishy This Way ComesFor the pescatarian - best worn near the ocean ... or the oyster bar |
 Show your love of SportsAnd beverages! |  Monster Mash-UpSomething for those blue Mondays |  Big RedLook at me! Look at me! |
 Bruce Wayne's Sporran Choice"Quick Robin, to the Batmobile!" |  Steampunk SporranYou'll be ready to direction the attention of the lassies when asked "Have you got the time?" |  Sporran for ChocoholicsA sporran made completely of chocolate - 10,600 calories worth Probably best in cool weather - from The Chocolate Tree in Haddington, East Lothian |
 A Real Conversation PieceOnly for the confident gentleman. Use the "honking" chickens for extra fashion points. |  Hollow SkullElegance with a simple black skull - the equivalent of Coco Chanel's single strand of pearls. |  Irn Bru'The Soft Drink for Hard Men' Product placement, anyone? |
 T-Rex & TartanBest to wear this ensemble straight to the psychiatrist's office - saves time. |  Haggis Horreur"Creepy, honest, sonsie face" ... right where it counts. |  Don't Hug Me!One more spike would have been as the French say, "de trop." |
 Full Mask WookieThe force is not strong with this one. Somebody definitely went to the dark side. |  BobcatHere kitty, kitty! |  KangarooIt is a serious business to be a marsupial. Unfortunately, this sporran lends itself to unceasing, but totally justified, "down under" quips. |
 For the Foxy GentlemanWell, we won't be needing to wonder "What Does the Fox Say?" anymore. |  Teddy Bear TaxidermyIs nothing sacred? |  Arts & Crafts in a HurryFinally something useful to do with lint from the dryer tray! |
 Who would wear this? Who? Who?Someone who hates owls, that's who! |  White WeaselWhen only formal vermin will do ... |  Gator or Croc Appeal - Smile!At least something will be smiling in all those candid photos. |
 Caw! Caw!The phrase "a murder of crows" comes to mind. Probably the perfect accessory for that next cornfield ceilidh! |  Pheasant Almost RampantThe editor's personal favorite So striking, may cause people to ignore you and speak only to the pheasant, but probably quite useful for holding your dance program or dispensing business cards. |  Punk RevivalWe hope this one comes with directions and a warning label. Wearer of this least likely to obtain a partner for Scottish Country Dancing. |
 Hello Kitty? Hello Dead Kitty?Ummm ... not sure this would be the best for formal wear. And the added skull (of Hello Kitty, one presumes?) totally transforms the look into something edgy. May upset pre-teen girls. |  Pepé MacPewLet us hope it is has been descented. |  Rocky RaccoonMay detract from your kilt, but at least you can carry your laptop. |
 Think Pink!No one else in the room will have one, that's for sure! |
Well, well, well ... Any you wouldn't be caught dead in? Any you think are just dandy? Searching the web for your very own right now?
And if you have other candidates for this repository of taxidermy terrors, please email with your submissions.
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